Signs of Winter

This is my fourth year teaching, and I still feel like an impostor when I describe myself as one. I assume this is because I work with people I consider to be actual teachers, as in, they've been doing this their whole lives and actually know what is going on. I have a similar feeling in describing myself as married; it's been two and a half years - what the heck do I know?

However, since I am technically employed as a teacher and have some experience, I've learned that the months of January and February are something akin to doomsday in the world of education. I imagine it's exacerbated by the boarding school thing, but it seems to be a phenomena in high school that the dark middle months of winter are when all the bad stuff comes out. It's cold. It snows, sleets, or rains, but whatever the weather, underneath it all is nothing but bare trees, brown grass, and mud. The holidays are over. It's dark all the time. It's cold and flu season. All of this creates a perfect storm of awfulness that culminates in the big D's: Depression and Discipline.

Last night was a tough one because a lot of kids were going through some tough stuff, and one of my advisees in particular was essentially waiting for some very sad news. It was one of those heartbreaking nights consumed by attempts at consoling and reassuring, all the while knowing both those things were only drops in the bucket.

And then when I woke up this morning and discovered that a lot of other stuff had been going on, less heartbreaking and more aptly described as profoundly disappointing, suddenly it became all too clear exactly what season it is. The trouble is, January is usually just the opening act, whereas February is the main show. Which leaves me....nervous, to say the least.