20 weeks!

Actually, today is 21 weeks, but I guess I average about a week to download a photo from my phone and then post about it.

I was pretty excited when I realized that even though this sweater has always been too short, I can now wear it with a super-long maternity shirt and pretend I am going for the fashionably cropped look. I have also inherited three boxes - literally - of clothes from other women on campus (in addition to almost all of the big baby gear I could ever need, which puts yet another star in the "pro" column for living at a boarding school).

So, let's see. I've been feeling mostly better, a world of difference from this summer, really. I have also learned that when I feel tired or icky at work (which is pretty much every afternoon), I can take advantage of the lovely armchair in my office. I'm the only one who has one, and I am finding myself incredibly grateful for it, even though my reclined working position draws a lot of laughs from people walking by.

Our latest appointment was on Tuesday night - the big anatomy scan. On the plus side, the doctor told us our child has a beautiful spine. On the downside, she told us that because that was about all she could see. The ultrasound tech said the baby was in literally the worst position possible for this scan, and she couldn't get about half the images she needed. I'm going back, then, on the 2nd to see if we can get some more advantageous views, but  somehow I doubt it. Once again, this baby is proving it is my child - hiding from any form of camera. This next appointment, then, will make my sixth ultrasound, which I think may be some sort of record. Some women have only had one or two at this stage, which means I really may be a medical overachiever.

I'm still trying to get used to the feeling that everyone is watching me all the time. All of the faculty know, but the word is slowly spreading through the staff and students, so a lot of people keep randomly stopping me with congratulations. I'm trying really, really hard not to get fed up with people asking how I'm feeling. It feels so rude and ungrateful, but I get frustrated feeling like I'm constantly discussing my medical status. I know it's people being kind and considerate and that I would do the same thing in their position, but it's also weird to discuss nausea and all of that with coworkers and others I don't know terribly well. It doesn't help that those discussions are usually followed by comments in the way of "Get your rest now, because it's going to get even worse soon!" I know, as much as I can know without actually having experienced it, that I'm in for a difficult ride, but why must people act like that's all there is?

By contrast, a lot of my close friends have been the very opposite. They talk about things other than pregnancy, for which I am so grateful, because I don't want it to completely consume my life. And best of all, they tell the good stories, not the horror stories so many people are fond of. I was talking with a friend recently and she said,"Nothing will change your life more." I braced myself for the typical "Sleep while you can!" and "Enjoy your life now!" kind of comment, but then she surprised me and said, "But there is no better change in the world." It was the nicest thing to hear at this point, because I know it will be great, but all of these exasperated stories people spew out, combined with my already pretty impressive anxiety, make it hard to focus on that most of the time.

Now I guess it's on to the registering and the buying of things (yikes). What do I need??