the news

It's been almost five months since I last posted, and I have no really valid explanation. Just distraction, I guess? Since I last posted, life is very different, in some bad ways and in some very good ways. I went up to New Hampshire with my sister on father's day to visit our dad, and while there, we discussed how this year (2012, but I always think in terms of school years, so the 2011/2012 year) has just been a particularly tough one, for everyone we know. It's a little hard not to feel the "I guess we used up all of the good luck and now it's on to the bad" kind of reaction, but I have to admit I occasionally have that tendency. I'm working on it.

I'd rather not go into the bad parts, because a) I don't really want to dwell, and b) it would entail me discussing a lot of other people's lives for them, and that's just plain rude. So I will stick to the news that is mine to share, and luckily that stuff has largely been good! For that, I feel grateful, guilty, and a little terrified (we can discuss that some other time, but suffice it to say I am the type of person who gets a little nervous at a lot of good news, because I feel like it's tempting fate or something. I think I'm a closet pessimist.)

So, here:

1. My husband, scholar of scholars, graduated from law school in May. Turns out he finished 13th in his class! I feel like the whole three years went ridiculously fast, but I'm pretty sure he feels otherwise. Believe it or not, we still have yet to finish his graduation party circuit, as we will be capping it all off next weekend in Pennsylvania.

2. Said husband also took the bar exam in July. It sounds so simple when phrased that way, but it is anything but. It's truly   a sadistic test - 2 days, 12 hours total of testing, and any and all legal material is free game for test questions. Two days after he graduated, he started studying, using a 50-lb. or so box of books, an online course, and somewhere in the area of 12 hours a day for about 8 weeks. I am nowhere near disciplined to enough to have done what he did, and I am still in awe that he made it through the studying, let alone the test. And now, the great wait until September (September!!!) to find out the results.

3. He also got a job! Yahoo! This was a bit nerve-wracking, as the job market has not exactly been stellar for law school graduates, but he worked just as hard at applying for jobs as he did at studying, and it paid off. He starts in about a week, and to say that his employment is a relief is a grand understatement at best.

4. And, in the only bit of this news directly related to me: I am pregnant! It still freaks me out a little to say that, but I guess I have to admit it sometime. I'm at 16 weeks, still battling stubborn and pretty dastardly morning sickness. My doctor, who called me an overachiever at this whole sickness thing (and then urged me to try to be more average - ha!), finally convinced me to use a pump for an anti-emetic. They proposed the idea originally at 8 weeks, but the idea of medication made me too nervous (they say it's safe, but who knows?) and I declined it. Then, after two ER visits for hydration and a total of about 15 pounds lost, they suggested it a little more strongly. At this point, I was too defeated to protest. I spent almost all of June and July in bed, barely able to even make myself check e-mail, let alone check off any of the many summer to-do list items I can complete only in summer. I was at 15 weeks, thinking I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and then the two worst days I have had yet drove me over the edge. We spent our fifth anniversary evening in the ER (at least it was a memorable date!), and I admitted defeat. This Monday, a visiting nurse fitted me with a pump, which has so far (fingers crossed) made a world of difference. I'm eating! And drinking! I've actually left the house! I'm sure there are people out there who would criticize my choice to turn to the drugs, but I don't care - it was necessary. I'm going to try to get rid of it as soon as possible, but until then:

This is me and my unfortunately-conspicuous pump. The pouch is obvious, as is the tubing and syringe that protrude from one side. As J says, "You can't not tell people now."
I think I've mastered the art of changing the syringe and changing the infusion (needles! that I change myself!), and it's starting to get a little less cumbersome. My overly sensitive skin, however, means that I have to change the injection site more often and that my abdomen is quickly becoming covered in bruises. Still, I'll take it for now.

I honestly didn't intend for my first post about this to be about the negative aspects. We're excited, certainly, though still terrified, and so far everything looks good (though this morning the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat and had to do that thing where she quietly called for the nurses to bring in the ultrasound machine - luckily, it turns out our child appears to just be taking after me and was doing its best to hide). I know we will get more and more excited when I'm feeling better and the news is fully out in the open, and best of all, our campus is maybe the best place to live when you're having a baby. Everyone is excited and concerned and sweet, and that does wonders. So onward we go!

And thus ends an epic post, and I promise to try to post more. Hold me to it!